Finding a Motley Crue sex song is easy -- it's picking just 10 that's difficult. If the group has moved past some of the publicly acknowledged vices of their early days, it's pretty clear their appetites for the attention and affections of beautiful women has not faded. Of course, most of the group members are married or in serious relationships now, with children of their own. But hopefully we can still look back on the more hedonistic romantic adventures chronicled in their earlier work without getting them in trouble. So here's our list of the Top 10 Motley Crue Sex Songs:
Well, you can't start a Motley Crue sex song list much more directly than this, can you? The Crue released this ode to getting down in the summer of 2012 to coincide with a new tour with Kiss, no strangers to temptations of the flesh themselves. Vince Neil gets right to the heart of the matter with lyrics like "Don't need no lovin, no respect / Cause its all about the sex." Oh, and if for some bizarre reason you wonder if the guys know what they're talking about, it's probably time you read their sometimes graphic official biography, 'The Dirt.' Or, just Google any of their names plus "supermodel."
'Sumthin' for Nuthin''From: 'Girls, Girls, Girls' (1987)
Here, songwriter Nikki Sixx tells the heartwarming tale of a male gigolo, getting paid for sex by women -- "I'll bring the toy guaranteed to put the spring in your shocks." It's the job every pent-up teenage boy wishes they could have, even with all the overtime involved: "Twice a day / Double pay / At my trade I'm the best." Hopefully, our hard-working hero is hydrating with plenty of Motley Brue.
'Tonight (We Need a Lover)'From: 'Theatre of Pain' (1985)
By the time 'Theater of Pain' was released in 1985, Motley Crue were living it up on the Sunset Strip as hard rock's reigning bad boys. On this raunchy, insanely catchy number, they showed that they still had that all-important team spirit and, uh... willingness to share. "Pleasure victim, who's next to fall / The question is will you please us all tonight?"
'She Goes Down'From: 'Dr. Feelgood' (1989)
You know, it's becoming pretty clear we could have made this a list of the Top 10 Motley Crue Oral Sex Songs. We didn't even mention the "Taste my sword" line from 'Tonight,' and now here we find this song's lyrics connecting the dots even more clearly. Or should we say "Up and down / Round and round" and "All around the world?"
'Ten Seconds To Love'From: 'Shout at the Devil' (1983)
Most romantic crooners brag about how long they can spend making love. But as you can tell by its title, this Motley Crue sex song has a slightly more urgent sense of priorities. In this case, Neil's offering his lucky date the chance to "Make history in the elevator" -- provided they can time things just right. And they better, because as he warns her clearly right up front, "The second I'm through / I'll be leaving this town."
'Too Fast for Love'From: 'Too Fast for Love' (1981)
The first Crue album, released way back in 1981, would set the stage for the many sex songs and spandex-clad tours to follow. Motley made a name for themselves early on as the kings of sleaze rock, and "Too Fast for Love" helped get this seemingly never-ending party started. We're not sure exactly what they're talking about -- "Well the more she needs / do you know what I mean?" seems like an incomplete thought or maybe an inside reference -- but it certainly seems to be about boinking.
'This Ain't a Love Song'From: 'Saints of Los Angeles' (2008)
This song, from the group's highly underrated -- and gasp, possibly last! -- album, 'Saints of Los Angeles,' stars a girl named Suzy. Suzy is NOT a wholesome young woman, spending her time "Hanging out at Marilyn's grave / Lookin' like an S&M slave." She's also pretty clearly using sex to run away from something haunting her psyche: "She said turn it up so f---ing loud / That I can't hear my mind / She bit down on the bedpost / And I watched Suzy grind."
'Sticky Sweet'From: 'Dr. Feelgood' (1989)
You'd think Motley Crue might have mellowed out a bit by the time they recorded their fifth album -- but 'Dr. Feelgood' is probably their horniest record ever. We already talked about 'She Goes Down,' and either 'Slice of Your Pie' or 'Rattlesnake Shake' easily could have made this list of Motley Crue sex songs as well. Of course, it's always possible this is about their love of pastries. Let's check the lyrics: "She says come right over... good God there's a fire in my pants... She slaps me on the ass / It takes more than ten seconds to satisfy this lass." OK, seems that we can rule out Cinnabon this time around. Of course, you could have both, that'd be one hell of an afternoon.
'Piece of Your Action'From: 'Too Fast for Love' (1981)
This track from Motley Crue's debut album finds the boys eager to claim more than their fair share of the rock and roll lifestyle -- not to mention every woman within the sound of their amplifiers. It would seem that the girl at the center of the action in this particular song is making her first journey into womanhood, based on lyrics such as, "You need me now, I'll teach you how / Come on and go all the way." Of course, she might want to be careful not to give her heart away too, judging from the "Use you up / Throw you away" line.
'Girls, Girls, Girls'From: 'Girls, Girls, Girls' (1987)
Most guys know better than to expect to actually have sex at a strip club -- without spending money and breaking a few laws, at least. Not Motley Crue. Not only are they clearly on a first-name, real-name basis with the girls at about a dozen of the country's most famous nude bars -- much like Norm from 'Cheers,' come to think of it -- they've clearly gotten accustomed to extra-special treatment as well: "They're the best when they're off their feet." This is the Crue at their best, singing about sex, sex and more sex.
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