I Tried to Buy Back My Childhood Toys: Some Were Cheap, One Was $400

Like many parents, I assumed my child would want to play with the toys I loved as a kid. I think they call this "nostalgia blindness" — because when he hit a certain age, I bought him one of my favorite toys, used, off eBay: the submarine from the Fisher-Price Adventure People "Aero-Marine Search Team."

You know where this is going. He said "thanks!" and gave it to his friend the next day. Sigh.

What Would It Cost to Buy Back My Childhood Toys?

That was years ago. Recently, it hit me: maybe I should buy back all my old toys for me, not him, which is really what I was doing in the first place. That sent me down an online rabbit hole of epic proportions: list out my favorite childhood toys, then track down and buy every single one. Once again, you know where this is going.

Here are my results. I'll walk you through each toy, where I found the best-condition version, and what it would cost me to get it home. Let's do this.

Kenner's Six Million Dollar Man — Steve Austin, Bionic Man Action Figure (1975)

Vintage 1970s Six Million Dollar Man Doll

Every kid could do the bionic sound effect in their sleep. Steve Austin's roll-back skin, which revealed his bionic gears, was creepy and cool — same with being able to look through the back of his head and see through his telescopic eye. I can't believe the condition of this version on eBay. North of $300 does make sense, I guess, given the iconic nature of this toy.

• Price: $310
• Where to find it: jryzwa via eBay

Merlin, the Electronic Wizard (1978)

Vintage 1978 Merlin The Electronic Wizard Game From Parker Brothers

While most kids were all about Simon, I was a Merlin boy. Simon was marketed as a group activity, but I was more of a solitary creature. It wasn't flashy, just some glowing red dots and some generic beeps, but you held it like a phone in your hand, and that was awesome.

MORE: Remember These Classic '70s and '80s Board Games?

Ninety bucks?! Given the still-existing printing on the buttons (ours were all worn off when it went ... missing), I'll give it a pass.

• Price: $89.95
• Where to find it: Snappy Sales via eBay

Fisher-Price Play Family A-Frame House

Vintage 1970s Fisher-Price Play Family A-Frame House

I'll often cite this toy as the reason I love mid-century architecture, though it's really more alpine-inspired American design. Tomato, tomahto. These are tough ones to hunt down complete — finding the full collection with every original piece is rare, and it's just as hard to find ones with the stickers still intact. Your best bet is to find one with as much as possible already there, then hunt down the remaining pieces individually — just know that will drive the price up.

Given that, $260 does seem like a lot here, but considering the pristine condition (from what I can tell) and the hot Fisher-Price market, fine. I'll take it.

• Price: $256.50
• Where to find it: OldWorldToyStore via Etsy

Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle (Mid-'70s)

Vintage Ideal Toy Company Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle

Evel Knievel was about as famous as anyone could get in the 1970s, and every kid wanted to be him. Every uneven sidewalk became a ramp to ride your bike off like Evel. His TV specials were genuinely dangerous, and they probably gave us all a little anxiety. This is the exact Knievel figure I had, though there were many versions. Mine let you rev him up with the included Energizer, then he'd take off, scare the cat, and scuff up the table legs in the kitchen.

This guy is a little worse for wear, but given his daily adventures, it seems about right. Just shy of 90 bucks doesn't seem like a lot to me, as long as he works.

• Price: $89.00
• Where to find it: disneypincess2014 via eBay

Fisher-Price Adventure People "Aero-Marine Search Team" (1975)

Vintage Fisher-Price Adventure People Sea Explorer / Sea Adventure Set

I'd say this is a bargain, since finding a set that includes the rubber "gummy" octopus is almost impossible. It was tough to narrow down a single Fisher-Price Adventure People set to look for because I want them all — every single one. These were my #1 go-to toy as a kid. The bonus with this set was that it was perfect for bath time, and I'd even lug mine to the local creek, which I later found out was just a drainage ditch, but that's childhood adventures for you. [I put together a list of awesome Fisher-Price toys for FP super fans.]

• Price: $75.00
• Where to find it: Sapper's Garage via eBay

Mattel Intellivision With Games Bundle in Working Order (c. 1979)

Vintage Mattel Intellivision Game ConsoleWith Games Bundle in Working Order

I know, I know: Intellivision? Back in the late '70s, Intellivision was seen as the "smart kid" video game console, so that's what my parents went with, as opposed to that mind-numbing Atari 2600. It was pretty good, though basic — kind of like board games on your TV. Considering this set is in working order and comes with a bundle of games, this one strikes me as a bargain.

• Price: $129.95
• Where to find it: Bobcat City Retro via eBay

Wham-O Magic Sand (1981)

Vintage Bottle of Wham-O Magic Sand From 1981

Paying $50 for a bottle of sand might sound like trading the family cow for some magic beans, but this is MAGIC sand, and it's so freakin' cool. Fifty bucks does seem like a lot, though. Would I pay it? Probably. If you don't remember Magic Sand, it let you build rustic-looking sand sculptures underwater in a container - and it actually worked.

Here's the original 1981 commercial showing it in action:

The real magic was scooping the sand back out and having it come out completely dry, ready to reuse. It was incredible.

• Price: $50.00
• Where to find it: Dominus Tecum via eBay

Kenner 13" Stretch Armstrong Figure (1976)

Vintage Kenner 13 inch Stretch Armstrong figure

The version I found looks THICC with his head pushed into his chest. That said, it's what you'd expect a retired professional wrestler to look like. And here's the thing about finding a pristine Stretch Armstrong - it's next to impossible to find one in good condition. This other one is slightly better and is over $2,000. Why? The whole point of Stretch was to see how far you could push him before he broke (well, leaked). He was meant to be destroyed.

MORE: 16 He-Man Action Figures of the '80s and What Made Them Genius

The warning label even said so: "IMPORTANT: STRETCH is tough, but his skin can be injured... so play with him according to instructions. NOTE: Excessive abuse can hurt STRETCH, and Kenner reserves the right to refuse return of any toys subjected to such abuse." So, it was a dare. And that's why Stretch is the priciest item on my list.

• Price: $400.00
• Where to find it: Timeless Antiques and Collectibles via eBay

Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine (1979)

Vintage Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine From 1979

Probably the best bargain on my list, it was also a necessity. I was one of those rare kids who actually regularly used my Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine, even using Kool-Aid to make new flavor mixes. I was a little foodie, and would even take over my sister's Easy-Bake Oven sometimes. This one is beyond pristine, almost hard to believe. And at 28 bucks, I mean, come on.

• Price: $27.99
• Where to find it: Cardboard Hive via eBay

The Damage: A Running Tally

Grand total: $1,428.39

Is spending approximately $1,400 a lot of money to chase a feeling? Probably. Will I actually buy them all? Not a chance. But spending a little time recalling the things that brought me joy was well worth it.