10 Rock Stars Who Would Make Great Pro Wrestlers
The worlds of rock and roll and pro wrestling have more in common than many music fans might like to admit. So it stands to reason that some of classic rock’s biggest stars — already in full costume, most likely wearing at least some war paint, and knowing the importance of winning over a live audience — could have great success inside the squared circle.
With the sport’s biggest annual event — Wrestlemania 29 — rapidly approaching, we take a look at the 10 musicians we’d most like to see cut promos and trade submission holds in search of championship gold or good old-fashioned revenge:
Let's get this one out of the way first, because if you're reading this you probably know WCW had an official Kiss Demon character back in the late '90s. We say the idea is worth another shot, especially if Simmons agrees to take on the role himself. The firebreathing and battle armor would probably have to be banned, but we'd think his Axe bass could make the occasional entrance a la Triple H's trusty sledgehammer. (P.S. Can someone teach HHH how to swing one of those things correctly?)
He's got the look, the height and the flair for the theatrical down cold. So basically, if Dee Snider of Twisted Sister can move a little and cut a promo as well as he can write an anti-authority anthem, he might have success in yet another form of entertainment. Our only request is that he enters the ring through a manhole cover, just like he does on the 'Come Out and Play' album cover.
OK, granted, AC/DC's famous guitarist stands 5' 2" and isn't exactly built like your typical muscle-heavy grappler. But as anyone who's ever seen this dynamo perform live can tell you, he generates enough energy to power a large city. Plus, he's got that schoolboy character and costume all lined up. Picture him as a high-flying, duck-walking Rey Mysterio.
Really, our first choice would be to cast Aerosmith's lead singer as an evil ("heel"), fast-talking manager along the lines of "The Mouth of the South," Jimmy Hart. But we're sure all the cardio he puts in tearing across concert stages has kept him in ring shape. Plus, he might be the only one on this list who could challenge the mighty Ric Flair for the flamboyant wardrobe heavyweight championship of the world.
The master of shock-rock might be the only performer who has "died" more times than the Undertaker, and gets our vote as the rock star turned wrestler best suited to ending the Dead Man's famous undefeated Wrestlemania streak. Of course, we'd also like to see him go head-to-head with fellow reptile enthusiast Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
Speaking of guys who've come back from the dead... exactly why couldn't Motley Crue's bassist and modern-day renaissance man Nikki Sixx add one more hobby to his already busy days by becoming a wrestler? Think about it: He's got more tattoos than C.M. Punk, has re-invented his look more times than Mick Foley, and certainly knows how to keep a feud interesting. Welcome to the Theatre of Pain!
Def Leppard guitarist Phil Collen has the talent, good looks, and thanks to his exercise routine, the physique for pro wrestling. In fact, he visited our offices recently, and the only flaw we could find with him is that he's way too nice. So naturally, our dream booking would be to make him work against type by casting him as an arrogant, "Mr. Perfect"-level bad guy.
Let's face facts: if all these rock stars turned pro wrestlers were really matched up against each other in a battle royal, 6' 2" weightlifting enthusiast and former Ozzy Osbourne guitarist Zakk Wylde would most likely be the last man standing. We'd bill him as a more intelligent version of "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, with recovery and rampage abilities to rival those of the immortal Hulk Hogan.
Is there any rock star turned pro wrestler who would be better at the all-important art of cutting a promo -- i.e., running down your opponents' flaws and promising to inflict all sorts of pain and misery on them in your upcoming match -- than Mr. 'Get in the Ring' himself, Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose? One humble request: bring back the baseball umpire chest protector and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper kilt.
As we've established, a professional wrestler needs to know how to fight, have the gift of gab and be willing to dress like a peacock. No rock star fulfills these three job responsibilities better than Van Halen singer David Lee Roth. He owns more sequined outfits than your three night-clubbing sisters combined, spent the last year practicing the martial arts in Japan, and has developed his own magical way with words that most of his peers aren't even able to understand, never mind duplicate. In the words of current WWE poster boy John Cena, the champ is here!