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Van Halen Inspired Student Suspended For ‘Hot For Teacher’ Essay

David Lee Roth
Kevin Winter, Getty Images

An Oakland University student has faculty staff deciding if his ‘Hot For Teacher’ essay, based on the 1984 Van Halen hit of the same name,  is an example of intimidating behavior, or an example of a student following instructions. Joseph Corlett, a 56-year-old student from Orion Township, Mich. has been suspended for a journal he turned in to his Advanced Critical Writing instructor, detailing how attractive he found her.

“I will not apologize for what I wrote and I will not apologize for making a good faith effort at doing my assignment,” Corlett says in the video below, courtesy of the Oakland Press. He tells the newspaper that he’d turned in a number of papers with sexual content previously, and received high marks from the woman he refers to as “My Ginger.”

“She walks in, and I say to myself, ‘Drop, mother (expletive), drop.’ Christ, I’ll never learn a thing. Tall, blond, stacked, skirt, heels, fingernails, smart, articulate, smile. I’m toast, but I stay,” Corlett wrote in the offending document. Van Halen’s message was simpler, but equally blunt.

After a meeting with the Dean, and a hearing in front of University administrators, professors and two students, he was suspended for three semesters and faces arrest for criminal trespass if he steps onto the campus.

The student insists there were no content restrictions for this assignment, and adds later that had his instructor picked up the class day books three times during the semester, instead of once at the end he might have had a chance to change course. “The syllabus encouraged free writing, free thinking, particularly first impressions. So I wrote down my first impressions of my teacher.”

Corlett is appealing the decision, and plans to sue if he’s not let back on campus. “I never experienced an interest in having sex with her,” he tells the Oakland Press. “I said she’s attractive, but I see a lot of women who are attractive. That doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them. Guys have died on the battlefield so I can write naughty things in my English paper.”

Yes, Corlett is married and his wife of 30 years is cool with his choice of subjects. “I’m not insensitive to what women go through in the workplace. My own wife has suffered those kinds of things.”

Just yesterday, we learned that VH lead singer David Lee Roth doesn’t really like mixing up romance and the classroom either. Speaking about a former girlfriend who liked to dress up as a schoolgirl, the singer explains: “OK, ‘Hot for Teacher,’ I get it, but it’s not what gets my flag all the way to the top of the pole.”

Watch Joseph Corlett Defend His ‘Hot For Teacher’ Essay

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