Steven Tyler Stays in Character on the Season Premiere of ‘American Idol’
After showing up looking like the second coming of Janis Joplin in a hot pink floppy hat, patterned shirt and a black vest, Tyler commenced with his usual nonsensical string of silly rants and raves and general inappropriateness.
He kicked off the show by telling the father of an auditioner that a certain city is "hot, humid and happening -- just like your daughter." Did we mention said daughter is 15? Awesome! So yeah, that went over like a lead balloon.
Then during the standard loser-montage, he told a young lady, "Oh baby, I'm gonna have to say no," which we're guessing aren't words that typically fall out of his mouth when women are involved.
However, even when the sad contestant is a guy, Tyler can be kind, telling one, "You got the confidence, but you ain't got the song." Which was pretty gentle, considering the dude sounded like a bag of cats going through a shredder.
But wait! It wouldn't be 'American Idol' if we didn't pay homage to Tyler's hot rock-star image, so we were treated to swoony girls and kisses and gratuitous shots of the Aerosmith singer shaking his narrow backside and announcing he was "moist," which very likely made the cameraman wish he was anywhere but right there at that moment.
And what would a rock star be without a stalker? A pretty but scary brunette who called Tyler her "future ex-husband" asked for a hug and then laid hands on his aforementioned backside, which he actually seemed to enjoy (go figure). After she sang, he said, "Best note you hit was when you grabbed my a--," making every human resources director within earshot sob uncontrollably.
The arrival of a gorgeous NBA dancer prompted him to say "yes" before she uttered a word, but he actually had some good constructive criticism for her, telling her to "push it out." Meaning the notes, not her bustline. But let's be real, he probably meant that too.
And there you have it. A pretty calm night for him, actually -- but let's remember this was only the first show of a very long season.