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Steven Tyler Makes a $100,000 Decision on ‘American Idol’

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Dimitrios Kambouris, Getty Images

It’s Thursday on ‘American Idol,’ and you know what that means: someone will be dropped through a trapdoor and eaten by hungry gnomes. Or given a one-way ticket home. Whichever.

Let’s check in on Steven Tyler.

To start the show, ‘Idol’ introduced something new: an “image advisor” in the form of designer Tommy Hilfiger. Hopefully that means the eye-bleeding style some of these contestants have will be pummeled into submission. (Seriously, ladies. Leggings are not pants. Stop it.)

And then it was time to get to the business of announcing the bottom three. The elimination this week is especially important, because only the top 10 go on the ‘Idol’ tour this summer — and not only does the tour extend their 15 minutes of fame, it reportedly garners each singer about $100,000, too.

Last night’s untimely elimination of Jermaine put everyone one spot closer, but if there’s anything worse than not making the finals at all, it’s placing 11th.

As is the norm, mentor and producer extraordinaire Jimmy Iovine gave his blunt take on each singer’s performance from Wednesday night, but tonight’s “Jimmy Gem” turn of phrase wasn’t about the contestants — it nailed the judges’ often vague and conflicting criticism instead. “Does the song matter? Does the song not matter?” he asked. “What kind of show is this?”

Oh, Jimmy. If this wasn’t a PG-rated site, we’d tell you exactly what kind of show this is.

The bottom three was entirely female, and really only one of the ladies deserved to be there, but that’s what happens when you let voters decide these things.

“You know, there’s a really fine line between a ‘good’ song and when somebody just nails it,” Steven said. “And it’s as hard to find as hen’s teeth.”

And as it turned out, the deserving one — Shannon — wound up at the bottom of the hen pile and had to “sing for her life,” which is ‘Idol’-speak for trying to convince the judges to use their single save of the season. They didn’t, so that’s that.

Next week, the top 10 do this all over again. See you then.

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