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Watch Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson Sing ‘Winter Wonderland’

Mass media has a way of making strange bedfellows, as bat-biting rock madman Ozzy Osbourne and sugary pop singer Jessica Simpson can both attest. The unlikely duo paired up in 2003 for a duet on ‘Winter Wonderland’ as part of ‘The Osbourne Family Christmas Special,’ living up to the program’s mission to “take holiday specials to a bizarre new level.”

The above clip from the it-must-have-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time files shows the hopefully-wasted (’cause we’d hate to think he did this thing sober) metal trailblazer and the singing reality TV star teaming up for what may well be the worst idea for a Christmas duet in the recorded history of humankind. We can accept this kind of schlock from Simpson — in fact, she excels at it, truth to be told — but Osbourne’s performance is so laughably bad that it almost defies description. It turns out that singing about Satan spreading his wings while laughing, and singing about frolicking in a meadow with a snowman require two very different skill sets. Frankly, Ozzy’s voice doesn’t exactly suit this kind of song, either.

If that’s not bad enough, the whole premise of the clip is that Osbourne and Simpson are literally acting out the lyrics of the song — building a snowman, dreaming by the fire, etc. — which begs the question, why would a sweet young thing like Jessica Simpson want to spend the holidays snuggling up to Osbourne, who’s not only old enough to be her father, he’s also dressed like a creepy Columbo. Color us cynical, but we’re guessing there was a big paycheck involved.

And now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to go break out the spiked egg nog in a vain attempt to wash away what we’ve just seen.

Next: Watch Kiss Sing 'White Christmas' On Stage

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