Dr. Ozzy Osbourne is the newest advice columnist in town, and "Dear Abby" he’s not. In fact, she may be twisting in her grave come Oct. 11 when ‘Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy,’ hits bookstores. It's a compilation of Ozzy's recent recurring columns from The Sunday Times and Rolling Stone.

Together with author Chris Ayers, Ozzy dishes out humorous, over the top, advice that no respectable human being should follow. Still, like his 2010 memoir ‘I Am Ozzy’ this title is expected to be one no music-loving household should be without.

Who else will tell you to "smoke some weed" or "have ye some sex" to cure the common cold? This metal head turned-MD reportedly believes bat blood cures AIDS, for goodness sake! Still, given he’s been declared a "medical miracle," he should at least be credited as an authority on survival, if nothing else.

Ozzy told the Times, "It's all very well going on a bender for a couple of days – but mine went on for 40 years. At one point I was knocking back four bottles of cognac a day, blacking out, coming to again, and carrying on.”

The only time Osbourne says he talked to his kids about drugs was to ask, "Can you give me some?," which makes his new profession all the more amusing. Yet, every now and again, there is a thread of sensibility in his counseling.

Take the advice he gives Adam from Brooklyn, who complains that his girlfriend is too tired for sex. "As I've always said to Sharon, there are 24 hours in a day, so it shouldn't be hard to make sure you spend at least one of them together. Go on a date. Have dinner together. Or put on a wig and a false beard, check into a B&B and f--- the s--- out of each other, like you're having an affair . . . maybe she just wants more excitement in her life."