Journey, ‘Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)’ – Hilariously Outdated Videos
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Back when MTV was a new thing, artists embraced music videos with the wide-open-frontier enthusiasm of a kid with a new toy. But something terrible happened along the way. Suddenly, directors thought they were Martin Scorsese, bands overestimated their thespian skills and editors started punching all sorts of buttons on their fancy new video-editing machines. The results are some laughably horrible videos that look seriously dated 30 years later. Here are 10 things to look out for in Journey‘s hilariously outdated video for ‘Separate Ways (Worlds Apart).’
The Way the Band Appears Outta Nowehere: Like the Terminator, but with way less awesomeness, the five members of Journey just sorta show up on the previously vacant dock setting, ready for action.
The Air Instruments: We’ve all played some air guitar to Jimmy Page or rocked the air drums to a Rush song during our morning commute to work, but the members of Journey, who actually own instruments, left them at home for part of this video shoot.
Neal Schon‘s Canadian Tuxedo: We get that the all-denim look is popular with ranch hands in movies, high-school underachievers and the bad boys in countless ’80s teen flicks, but the guitarist should know better. Then again, there’s …
Steve Perry‘s Tank Top: Never mind that his biceps aren’t exactly ripped. It’s a tank top, and one that features a design Charlie Brown would approve of at that. Plus, it’s tucked in. Just like your dad would do if he were wearing a tank top with testicle-hugging jeans.
Steve Perry’s Hair: The singer’s hairstyle is all ready for business in front and party in back with his sweet ’80s mullet. Bonus points for the slightly-to-the-side part that attempts to give it some distinction.
The Video Vixen: It seems like forever until we get to see the face of the woman who struts through the video’s intro, since the camera is so focused on her leather-skirt-sporting butt and black-stockings-clad legs. And then there’s those white heels …
Did We Mention How Goofy the Band Looks Playing Those Air Instruments?: Go ahead and take a minute to watch Journey play their Top 10 hit from 1983 without real instruments. It’s OK, we’ll wait.
Jonathan Cain’s Wardrobe: Like Steve Perry’s mullet, keyboardist Cain isn’t sure if he’s there to sign papers or down some shots. So he goes for both with an ensemble that includes a sport coat and jeans.
That One Dude’s Mustache: Facial hair wasn’t ironic back in the ’80s, we realize that, but the ‘stache the guy furiously pounding on the air drums proudly wears seems a bit excessive for even back in that hairier era.
Seriously, What’s With the Mullets?: Steve Perry isn’t the only one wearing a Tennessee Top Hat. Turns out the woman who keeps walking past the band — once the camera pans up from her ass — has one too. And it’s totally awesome.