George Burns, ‘Fixing a Hole’ – Terrible Classic Rock Covers

Where do you even begin with this one? OK, there are probably more songs eligible for inclusion in our Terrible Classic Rock Covers category on the movie soundtrack to ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ than any other album in history, George Burns doing the Beatles’ ‘Fixing a Hole’ is easily the worst.

There should be a rule: vaudevillians should never, ever sing songs from the height of the psychedelic rock era. Even as kitsch or camp, this is a stupid idea. And just think, if this had become a hit in some bizarro world, the floodgates could have opened. We might have had Uncle Miltie doing ‘Pictures of Matchstick Men.’ Shudder.

Next, there are so many problems with the ‘Sgt. Pepper’ movie, but whose plan was it for George Burns to sing… anything? You need a narrator? Fine. You want him to play “Mr. Kite”? Sure. At least they didn’t make him sing that song. We all know that old George – he was in his 80s at the time – came from an era when entertainers had to do anything, but that doesn’t mean they were good at everything.

Regardless, we’re left the memory of Burns’s bored, talk-sung delivery, along with a pointless call-and-response with two whiny tykes. And there’s the image of Burns' slow-motion soft-shoe around the Warner Bros. backlot. At least the “fantasy” sequence of Burns becoming a Les Paul-wielding rock star vanishes as quickly as it appears.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

Listen to the Beatles’ ‘Fixing a Hole’